First of all I want to say that I am really excited about the game. And I’m looking forward to the rest of the campaign and next year when it comes out.
I do have some suggestions on the rulebook. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn’t.
I will start with the hero board on page 12.
1- I don’t like that the numbers are all over the place. I don’t like that I have to search where a certain number is and I would rather have it be left to right top to bottom.
(For example the 7, 3, 4 at the top right makes no sense to me.)
2- And for the action spaces you could use 8.a, 8.b, etcetera. So there are fewer numbers which might make it a little clearer.
3- Suggestion: Encumbrance —> Weight penalty
4- With the Villain command board (page 30), because there are way less numbers on the board it bothers me less.
5- But for the river tiles (page 31) I would just change the ‘Tile Level’ to number 2 (is now 16) and shift all the other numbers. It’s just easier to find that way.
6- For the list of skills. I would bundle the skills like “attack-skills / movement-skills / manipulation-skills / etcetera". So that the skill would be easier to find when in the middle of a game.
7- I also would start with naming the type of skill before explaining how it works. For example “Type: automatic manipulation”. This way it’s immediately clear what type of skill you are dealing with.
Now in the introduction of the list of skills you could also explain:
8- that heroes may only use skills they actually posses.
9- how the skill level works.
10- what the difference is between an automatic or a complex skill. So you don't have to explain it for every skill.
11- I understand you want to be thorough but try not to over-explain every skill.
- the possessor of the skill performs the action. (I don't think this needs to be explained)
- the possessor of the skill declares its use. (I don't think this needs to be explained)
- the possessor of the skill has not already used it during this turn. (to me this is the only necessary condition that needs to be explained)
12- instead of 'the possessor of the skill' I would just say "the hero" or "the character"
13- It is said before but having a native english speaker read through the rulebook would help making it better, but maybe you should wait until you are closer to finishing the rulebook.
Just some thoughts hope this will help!
Keep up the good work!